 Dating
Hi Kids, I am sure that you are all over the butterflies of the new school year, you have figured out where all your classes are and have met some of your fellow students. Maybe even, if you are lucky, there is a young man or young lady that has caught your eye and you are thinking about asking them out. To help you have a successful time I want you to take a moment and watch this clip. <![CDATA[<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/FwCmcZpkk-k" target="_blank">http://www.youtube.com/watch/v/FwCmcZpkk-k</a>]]> Hmmmmmmm I think weenie roast is code for sex. | Write Comment
An Awkward Walkway is a Sociopath
I call myself an actor. So that's what I'm studying in college. Fellow actors Last year, on my second day of college, "THE DEPARTMENT OF THEATRE AND DANCE" had a meeting for all the freshman. The head of "THE DEPARTMENT OF THEATRE AND DANCE" reviewed important dates and said, essentially, if there was another job we might have a tiny interest in doing, do it. I'm wishing more and more that I had taken his advice. The only problem is, I can't figure out how to become a mercenary! I'll be honest, I haven't really tried, but the more I think about it the more I don't know what to do. I can't join the army because I have an incurable foot disease, I don't want to talk about it. I can't post flyers asking people if they need mercenary related tasks completed because I'd have to put a picture of myself on the flyer and I'm really skinny and un-mercenary-like because I can't grow muscle to save my life, I don't want to talk about it.  Basically, I can't be a mercenary. Which is the only thing I've wanted to do besides act. Well, I also wanted to be a scuba diver, but I have a fear of bodies of water larger than a bathtub, I don't want to talk about it. What I'm going to do is finish my time in "THE DEPARTMENT OF THEATRE AND DANCE" and hope for a movie role as a mercenary and someone will believe me so much that they'll need me to fight a secret war. So, thirty years from now, if you're reading a newspaper article reading "Former actor dies in awesome firefight," remember this blog. | Write Comment
How well do you know someone?
Ok something happened yesterday that got me thinking about this, we have a person living with us and he was doing his laundry and asked if a T-shirt that was in his dirty clothes was Jackson’s, I told him no it wasn’t, this is the second time it has happened, that he found a kid sized T-shirt in his laundry that doesn’t belong to anyone that lives here. I am worried that one day I will be interviewed by a TV crew in my pajamas saying "I thought he was such a normal guy, although he did have a weird obsession with his computer."
As it is important to know the people you live with, it is also important to know who we elect. During this year we are going to elect a new President and we are bombarded with commercials telling us, both to trust and distrust both candidates. With all of this info coming at us, how would we ever be able to really know these people? Yeah we will listen to grand speeches on both sides They will show us pictures of their families and their sleeves will be rolled up, just like the average guy. They try very hard to connect with us.
Some of you will feel like you know the candidate pretty well and have made up your mind on who you will vote for, great job! But for those of you that don’t, let me help. One was a war hero; one has hope for a better country. One has conservative Christian values and one believes in a nonjudgmental God. One believes in lower taxes for the wealthy to help stimulate the economy and one believes tax breaks for the wealthy should be gone. Both have love of country. Both will do their best to be a leader you would be proud of.
I hope that I have helped you to get to know these candidates a little better, gave you non-biased information, as we should know those who live in our home; we should also know those that will be the next leader of the free world.
Oh wait if you are not sure what the candidates look like, here are pictures of them.  
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Shower shoes
I've settled into my dorm room now, and everything is going pretty well. I'm in a pretty big room with a semi private bathroom who my roommate and I share with a friend of ours, and then this other guy we didn't know but turned out to be pretty cool. It's great. Except for one thing... Basically what my shower shoes look like. One day I took a shower in the morning. I use shower shoes because the bathroom is still pretty disgusting, even though it's shared between four guys (maybe ESPECIALLY because it's shared between four guys). Anyway, one morning, I took a shower with my shower shoes, then left them in the bathroom. I leave, then come back about 5 hours later. One of my shoes has a puddle of water in it that wasn't there before, and the other one has a single pumpkin seed in the sole. If my shoes were just wet, that would be fine. "Oh, someone's using my shoes, no big deal." But a pumpkin seed? About two days later I took another shower, left, then came back. My shoes were wetter. And another pumpkin seed! Just one! Prime suspects. I seriously have no idea what happened. I talked to my friend who shares the bathroom and he said he has no idea what happened. I don't know who to believe anymore. If anyone has any suggestions as to what is going on, please tell me. I don't care how ridiculous it is, it's really really really bothering me. | Write Comment
Bad Video Games
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ethnic_Cleansing_(computer_game)Somewhere, up above, God must be looking at this game and quietly wishing he never created the South. I was on Wikipedia today (the best way to kill an hour without taking your pants off) and found out that some backwards, cousin fucking Neo Nazis have actually taken the time, effort, and money to create a game called "Ethnic Cleansing." I'm dead fucking serious. At one point some manufacturer thought "Yeah, that sounds like a good idea." In the game you play as either a Klansman or a Neo Nazis and you spend the whole game murdering Jews, Blacks, Mexicans, and any other groups that aren't white or Christian. The game portrays and voices the "enemies" in stereotyped or insulting manners (e.g. Latinos wear a sombrero, Jews are depicted as gun-wielding rabbis etc.) and the backgrounds themselves represent a dystopian world supposedly "ruled by Jews and their henchmen", according to the game's creators. And guess who is the final boss? Wario? Nope. Those weird fucking aliens from Halo? Wrong. The ghosts from Pac-Man? Sorry, but no cigar. The main boss is Ariel Sharon, the former Prime Minister of Israel, who is directing plans for world domination. The player must kill Sharon to win the game. WHAT THE FUCK?!? They actually allow shit like this to be made? This crap gets to be produced, but I still have to wait for a third Ghostbusters movie? BULLSHIT! No other word describes this other then bullshit. This is the kinda stuff that just makes me sigh and hang my head low. Maybe now they'll make my game. In it you play someone who understands and respects other people and cultures but one day you get stuck in an evil place known as "The South" where there are all these white people who want to kill you for being different. It'll be "Pac-Man" meets "Halo" meets "Mortal Kombat" except with tens times more full frontal nudity. Speaking of nudity I also discovered two old Atari "sex" games. One of them is called "Beat 'Em & Eat 'Em." In that one you play a naked woman whose sole purpose is to catch sperm after a guy beats off from a rooftop. Oh…It's times like this I wish I still had an Atari (man, sarcasm is hard to do over the internet.) A more disturbing game of this sort is called "Custer's Revenge" in which you play General Custer and spend the whole time trying to rape an Indian woman. Which is actually pretty confusing when you think about. I had heard from a message board that some poor sap bought the game (sans the box) believing it to be a War game instead to be treated to a creepy old dude with an erection. Walking in on a creepy old dude with an erection reminds me of [INSERT YOUR OWN DICK JOKE HERE] So I beg of you, please PLEASE don't play these games! If you play these games they'll only make more...and nobody wants that.
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